What's with the cleaning, you say?

My journey as a SAHM wasn't as easy as one would think. Chores are still chores, kids and their mischieves and tantrums gets no less by each day. I am not a very patient person...and still learning on the anger management (more like anger control). I get to be lonely at times, when things just seems to just fall apart, including my emotions. I get super sensitive and I know that I need to talk to family and friends with kids, just to know that I'm not alone...but it just doesn't seem as easy as it sounds. At certain point, I loose control of my temper, and my vocals were put to the test. My lungs are still strong, I believe. As heated as I could get, I would only smack the clothes hanger on to the wall...nothing more.

I realized I had not been a good Muslim. I have missed prayers, I have missed reciting du'a and the Al-Quran. I was lost. So I turned back to Him for guidance, to seek forgiveness, and to have peace of mind. Alhamdulillah, I was guided.

There have been people telling me to forget about it. Don't loose temper. Let the kids be, and so what if the house is a mess that you can see the carpet... "It's not like you have guests coming over to your house everyday. Why need to be so tidy?". That just doesn't make sense to me. What if I can't let the kids rule the house over? I need the house to be livable to be less stress. To make it happen, I'm teaching my kids to clean up after their play time, and finish their meals every time. Maybe my way sounds harsh to some, but I believe in it. I pray that it would later help them to appreciate other's effort, and not to take things for granted. I'm not the world's-greatest-mom, I know that for sure, it's just so that the chores can be shared with the kids.

This is where it all began

Being a full-time SAHM (Stay At Home Mom), as I just realized it, takes more than 24-7. A mom of 2 kids of 1 year apart sometimes puts me to wonder if it would be as close as having twins...obviously the answer is no. I left my job when my youngest is at 1 year 9 months old, while the eldest at 2 years 9 months old...yes they almost have the same birthday...difference by 2 days.

My last work place was kind enough to offer me for a part-time job, being in office for 1 or 2 half days a week, and some home assignments to do. It helped me to leave the office environment in a pace-full manner. My mind won't be jammed because of the sudden stop of work challenge. I got to meet up with the officemates, and I considered it to be a time-off from the kids. However, home assignments weren't helping much. I got jammed up to complete duties at home and for work. So I slowly let go of the whole part-time job, and decided to be focused being at home.

So this is where it all began.