My journey as a SAHM wasn't as easy as one would think. Chores are still chores, kids and their mischieves and tantrums gets no less by each day. I am not a very patient person...and still learning on the anger management (more like anger control). I get to be lonely at times, when things just seems to just fall apart, including my emotions. I get super sensitive and I know that I need to talk to family and friends with kids, just to know that I'm not alone...but it just doesn't seem as easy as it sounds. At certain point, I loose control of my temper, and my vocals were put to the test. My lungs are still strong, I believe. As heated as I could get, I would only smack the clothes hanger on to the wall...nothing more.
I realized I had not been a good Muslim. I have missed prayers, I have missed reciting du'a and the Al-Quran. I was lost. So I turned back to Him for guidance, to seek forgiveness, and to have peace of mind. Alhamdulillah, I was guided.
There have been people telling me to forget about it. Don't loose temper. Let the kids be, and so what if the house is a mess that you can see the carpet... "It's not like you have guests coming over to your house everyday. Why need to be so tidy?". That just doesn't make sense to me. What if I can't let the kids rule the house over? I need the house to be livable to be less stress. To make it happen, I'm teaching my kids to clean up after their play time, and finish their meals every time. Maybe my way sounds harsh to some, but I believe in it. I pray that it would later help them to appreciate other's effort, and not to take things for granted. I'm not the world's-greatest-mom, I know that for sure, it's just so that the chores can be shared with the kids.
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